Abandon

"Are we ready to continue our lesson?" Monk beamed, standing next to the rear door.

"I'm sorry about last time." I apologized. "I was in a dark place. I couldn't talk about other emotions."

"Why do you apologize?" He asked. "This is a lesson in you growing into control of yourself. If you need to talk about something, it would be best if you talked about it."

I looked up at him. His hands were folded in front of him. He looked as if he were smiling. He drew in a breath, and then took quick glances between the door and me.

"Shall we?" He asked, motioning towards it.

"Yes." I replied. He led me through the door, and it opened into a rock face.

"Careful now." He cautioned. The door faced towards a large rock wall, with only a few feet of room to get out from the sides. The rocks underneath my feet jutted out to a peak, where a cascade of water fell in front.

"Where are we?" I asked. 

"Do you not remember seeing this waterfall on the way up to the monastery?" He asked, sitting down near the point. 

"Is this what this is?" I asked.

"This is my favorite place in this town." He sighed. "I've found that my most successful meditations are found here."

I sat next to him, and reveled in the silent roaring of the waterfall.

"So what emotions burden you today?"

"I don't know." I replied. "Should we just go down the list of whoever's left?"

"We may." He stated. "Who was it you met first in this new world?"

"I think Good and Bad had me meet Hollow and Youth first."

"Ah," he laughed, "the troubled pairing."

"Aren't they all troubled pairings?"

"To an extent, but Youth and Hollow are different than the rest."

"How so?"

"Because you hear from Hollow even less than you do from Anger. You experience feelings of anger and resentment more than you do feelings of depravity."

"Hollow and Misery sound fairly similar." I added.

"They are." He noted. "They are two sides to the same coin. They both aim to drag you down when you experience the two ends of the spectrum of life. When you are your highest, Misery will be there to try and knock you down. But when you are at your lowest, Hollow will be there to drag you down even further."

"So how does Youth fit into this?"

"Youth is your longing for hope in the future."

"So Youth and Could are similar too?"

"Yes, in that they both have a healthy helping of optimism. But when you are at your lowest, you will not look kindly into space, thinking about what could happen. There are not concrete ties to reality. But Youth serves this purpose. He will help you to think about what could happen if you stand up and keep walking, but he will root it in reality."

"So then Youth serves a lot of my feelings of nostalgia?"

"Correct."

"So that's it?" I asked, finally looking at him. "Youth is only there to be nostalgic and optimistic?"

"Yes," he held up a finger, "but he serves a purpose even greater than the two."

"And what would that be?"

"Curiosity."

"You know; I would think the corgi would deal much more with curiosity."

"One would think, yes." He laughed. "But when you hunger to learn or do something new in your day to day life, that is Youth speaking into your ear.

A silence cut its way between us. I thought that the waterfall would be deafening. But it sounded as if a small creek was nearby. I could feel the mist drifting into us.

"So then is that all that Hollow does?" I spoke. "Make me feel more like shit when I already am?"

"That is most of his job, yes. But there can be instances where this is a good thing."

"Please..."

"Pardon?"

"He only serves that on purpose!" I shouted. "He grabs onto my leg, and begs for me to not to leave him behind; all the while exclaiming 'do not abandon me, for I have already abandoned myself!' He's just a dead-weight, isn't he?"

He laughed and shook his head. He drew in a breath and then turned back out to look at the cascade.

"This 'dead-weight' as you describe him, can save you; he can drive you to further success than be possible without him."

"How?"

"When you're crashing, you create new all-time lows for yourself. Hollow senses this, and strives to drag you down even further from within your own soul. But you need to be able to bounce back once you are mentally and emotionally ready. And what makes you bounce back further than a little extra weight?"

"Are you comparing life to a giant trampoline?" I asked.

"Perhaps?" He chuckled. "But do you understand what point I am attempting to arrive at?"

"Momentum." I stated. He turned his head and looked at me. "It's easy to bounce back when you start at the ground. But when you go even lower than that, and see what it's like to be lower than low, it’s easier to go even further."

He nodded his head silently.

"You should take my place as monk."

"Do I have to shave my head?"

"Preferably."

"Then it ain't gonna happen."

We both laughed and stood up. He led me back to the door.

"Who else is left to talk about?" I asked him.

"The last two pairings are myself and Anger, and Soul and Host."

"Wait," I began, stopping short once we entered the monastery, "what about Misery? Who's his opposite?"

"You'll see." He chortled, leading me towards the main doors.

"I don't like being in suspense." I sighed.

"It's not suspense," he turned, "if it's in your own head."

"I swear if you had eyes, you'd be blinking right now, wouldn't you?"

"Probably." He laughed. I pushed open the door, and the light flooded in. The door shut, and locked behind me.